He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Randomize
