Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
My dick has a subreddit
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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