hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize