its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
