no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
