Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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