D3 body, D1 cock
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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