its not stalking. its research.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Randomize
