If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
