I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
