I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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