non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
