I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
whose parrot is this?
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
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