Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
