I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize