yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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