some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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