you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze