the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
