And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Randomize