honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
