Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
