You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Moan for me like Helen Keller
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
