For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
