I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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