Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
