"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
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