You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Randomize
