he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
