i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Randomize
