I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
