it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Randomize
