I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
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