i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
There's a naked man in my car right now.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
