Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Randomize
