I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
