to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
