I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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