well most of my day revolves around power hour
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Randomize
