is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
my nose is crying tears of wow.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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