You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize
