OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Randomize
