didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
