ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
