i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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