I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Did I show you my penis last night?
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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