New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Randomize
