Is it normal to miss your booty call?
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
