If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Randomize
