She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
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So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
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