smell my finger.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
