Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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