Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
