Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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