Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
