dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Randomize
