I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Randomize
