I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
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